The Worst Movies of 2011

Once again, it's time to wonder why I love movies so much. Every year there's a batch of films that make me question the upper management in Hollywood, who hear these movie pitches and think, "That sounds great! Film it". I suppose, just like anything else, there needs to be a balance of good and bad. For every Social Network, there's a Jonah Hex, and on it goes. It makes us appreciate the good films that much more, and long for them every time we have to sit through one of these awful cinema events.

"Honorable" Mention - Colombiana - Oliver Megaton

No doubt Zoe Saldana is perfect for an action film like this, and she does a pretty good job at creating her character, but the film around her suffers from sloppy filmmaking, and twists we can see coming before we even think they'll be coming. The film is all brawn, and no brains.

10) J. Edgar - Clint Eastwood

Oh, how far the mighty can fall. It's amazing how an icon of Hollywood (Eastwood), can make such an awful film about one of the most intriguing subjects in American history. The movie is boring from the first scene, and never manages to get even remotely interesting. While DiCaprio gives a fine enough portrayal, poor makeup, harsh lighting, and banal direction shroud the performance.

9) The Mechanic - Simon West

While The Mechanic has one or two decent shots, for an action movie, its pretty boring. Weighted down by a poor script and set pieces that leave a lot to be desired, the movie is one that is forgettable the moment it ends, and that isn't what you want in any movie, let alone one that has to rely so heavily on action.

8) The Hangover Part II - Todd Phillips

I just recently re-watched the first Hangover, and I must say, it diminished my thoughts on Part II even more. I initially did not like the sequel for the obvious reason that it was basically a retelling of the first Hangover. After thinking about it, and viewing the first one again, I realize that Part II tries far too hard to outdo the original, with the same story. What has me cringe even more, is there considering a third film. Couldn't we have just left it at the hilarious original and be done with it?

7) Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Michael Bay

In all fairness, it's not as bad as Revenge of the Fallen, although let's be honest, nothing is as bad as Revenge of the Fallen. Yet, Bay finishes the trilogy on another sour note. The ending, which one would think would wrap the trilogy nicely, just sort of stops. The big fight ends, and the credits roll. Um, what? And to think, I actually kind of enjoyed the first Transformers movie.

6) The Dilemma - Ron Howard

Honestly, what is Ron Howard thinking here? Before the film's release he tried to justify taking it by stating that he wants to work in almost all genres of film, and thought this script was a good one. Well, somewhere between the script getting published and the film getting produced, something went terribly wrong. Which is a shame, considering the cast involved.

5) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I - Bill Condon

I guess I'll never understand how a vampire (who, you know, according to his internal organs and such, is dead) is able to conceive a baby, when it wouldn't be possible for him to have a working...well, you get the idea. Not to mention that werewolves are apparently telepathic, and teenage girls can (spoiler alert!) survive a lot of nasty bites to there *ahem* region after they give birth to a vampire baby. Also, that said baby can get one of said telepathic werewolves to fall in love with her the moment after her birth. Which does not resemble pedophilia at all.

4) New Year's Eve - Garry Marshall

There is far too much commercialism in this film. There's far too many people and too many storylines to really care about any of them. Also, the kids, who I am assuming are to be about 13-15 years old, are far too made up and forced to look over 18, just for the sake of it. Abigail Breslin, the star from Little Miss Sunshine, always looks as if the crew were trying to cover up the fact that she's not exactly 75 pounds like other teen stars.

3) Abduction - John Singleton

There's nothing remotely interesting in this Taylor Lautner vehicle. The movie is an obvious attempt to gain Lautner non-female fans by upping the action and minimizing the shirtless scenes. Yet, the problem is, the movie is long and boring, and Lautner simply cannot act. I don't say this out of spite, but out of fact. There's no question he can handle an action scene here or there, and does some of the stunts himself pretty well, but he can barely walk in a scene without making it look awkward.

2) Bad Teacher - Jake Kasdan

The film plays like a bad SNL skit that they never bother pulling from their show. There is no real plot in the film, and, while in a comedy that's funny that can be overlooked, here, the jokes fall flat. All of them. Jason Segel is about the only highlight of the film, yet he looks bored and uninspired throughout.

1) Hall Pass - Peter and Bobby Farrelly

Where to even begin. Offensive, brash, and downright not funny, the Farrelly Brothers have made one hell of a stinker here. Falling from brilliance like There's Something About Mary, the Farrelly's have made a film that I found really just offensive, to women, to comedy, and to humanity in general. Avoid at all costs.

That does it for the worst of the year. Check back next week for my top ten, and a few other end of the year lists, and lead up to the Oscars.